People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

 

Born	Joan Alexandra Molinsky June 8, 1933 Brooklyn, New York City, New York, United States
Died	September 4, 2014 (aged 81) Manhattan, New York City, New York, United States
Cause of death	Cardiac arrest
Occupation	Actress, comedian, writer, producer, television host
Years active	1959–2014
Home town	Larchmont, New York, United States
Religion	Reform Judaism
Spouse(s)	James Sanger (m. 1955; annulled 1955) Edgar Rosenberg (m. 1965;d. 1987)

Children	Melissa Rivers
Comedy career
Medium	Stand-up comedy, film, television, theatre, books
Genres	Observational comedy, insult comedy, shock humor, black comedy, ribaldry, improvisational comedy
Influences	Lenny Bruce,[1] Phyllis Diller,[2]Sophie Tucker,[2] Pearl Williams,Belle Barth,[2] Totie Fields,[2]Johnny Carson, Zsa Zsa Gabor,[3] Bob Newhart,[3] Woody Allen, Don Rickles
Influenced	Sarah Silverman,[4] Margaret Cho,[5] Kathy Griffin,[6] Amy Schumer[2] Chelsea Handler,[7]Roseanne Barr,[7] Greg Proops[8]
Website	JoanRivers.com

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but Ialways figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

The world lost one of its most biting comics when Joan Rivers died Thursday at the age of 81.

Rivers acted and performed comedy for 55 years, writing most of her own material. She was known for her unapologetically blunt humor and she was egalitarian about it, too: nobody was safe from becoming the butt of a Joan Rivers joke, including Rivers herself.

Distilling Rivers’ funniest jokes into a short list is an impossible task: her best material could fill several books. So, in honor of the iconic comedienne TIME has gathered just a few of her best jokes:

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I hate thin people: ‘Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?’

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.

It was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for ‘Best Special Effects.’

All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Every woman in this room tonight: Think like a second wife. You grab and you take. You grab and you take. And when you die, whatever you got out of him you have buried on you. If the next bitch wants it, make her dig for it.

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.

Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me upfor life. Peeping Toms look at my window and pull down the shade. Mygynecologist examines me by telephone.